Random thoughts #3

Back to school

So ya congratulation to me I got accepted at the school I had in mind to get to, it felt nice to be back to school after a year wandering around, at least I know what I’ll be doing this year; It fells also odd to be back to school especially that I got used to studying in a class where there is more than 300 student, now it’s like returning back to high school my class has only 29 student, I got used to never participate we didn't had to, the teacher just keep talking and us the rest of the class listen, it’s not the case anymore and it’s a little bit stressing me out but it’s ok I’ll get used to the new atmosphere; I’m glad I got accepted and I’m going to do my best, last year was really hard on me I felt so helpless, not this year.

Independence

What a beautiful word “independence” my ultimate dream, I feel like I need to live that experience of living on my own, dealing with the daily life problems on my own I just envy people who live like that, well I only see them in movies or on youtube because around me no one seem to have any problem living with their parents even at their thirties. it’s just a cultural thing, every time I tell a friend about my dream he just start talking about how weird I am and that I should be grateful for having parents that support me, they just don’t understand when I first started working during summer it hit me how cruel this word is and how much dad and mom did for me and I’m way grateful for all they did for me. me wanting to be independent doesn't have any thing to do with me being ungrateful at all, me wanting to be independent has everything to do with me wanting to know more this word, to know truly who I am and me wanting to grow and that it is that really hard to be understood??

Youtube

So I started posting videos on youtube, and I truly don’t know why maybe boredom maybe it’s just fun to film yourself thinking out loud, and capture moments in life but why make them public??? Especially that I film with my mediocre quality camera phone, sometimes we just do thing because we feel like doing them that’s why.

Recent reads #4

October was a long waiting month, and the best thing to do while waiting is to read, and that’s what I did, I read during october four book and a half, yes that month also I couldn't finish reading a book.

So let’s get start; all the books I read were in french, it was a while since I last read something in french so it was ok, actually all those books were books programed for school that I didn't get the chance to read. the books were:

Poil de Carotte by JULES RENARD

The book is an autobiography of the author about his childhood, what I liked about the book was the way it was written with it’s composed of paragraphs each tells an event some were sad others were funny, he didn't had the best childhood but that's what made the book an interesting read it was so real, I just liked it so much.

La Gloire de mon Père by MARCEL PAGNOL

This book is also an autobiography, it’s the first tome of the books about MARCEL PAGNOL’s life, so the book is about his childhood a happy childhood or this is how he makes it look like. the book is mostly about his dad which he admires a lot and shaped the way he sees the word. I really liked his dad, he had some really interesting opinions. this book wasn't as good for me as poil de carotte, some parts of the book looked not that real to me maybe it came more from the author's imagination than his memory.

La Parure by GUY DE MAUPASSANT

This book is a novella, it had only few pages, this is my second novela by GUY DE MAUPASSANT and this book was as interesting as the first one, only few pages made me so confused and it just made think a lot, I'm now curious to read more books by this author and I’m planning to do so.

Il Etait une Fois un Vieux Couple Heureux by MOHAMMED KHAIR-EDDINE

As the title says it the book is about the happy life of this old couple, their life in an amazigh village in morocco, away from the loudness of the cities. the book also covers a period of morocco's history I really liked this book. I’m myself amazigh and those two characters and all the characters in that village were so familiar to me. I’m proud of my origins but I don’t know much about them, this books just made me think about how beautiful my culture is and how easy it would be forgotten if we didn't care about it, en general this book was amazing, it was so slow going yet every paragraph had something interesting in it.

The Labirinth by KATE MOSSE

A mystery book that I couldn't finish, it was so long and so slow going, I read half of it yet I didn't understand much of what was going on, it was not because of my level in english but because of the style of writing. I think it’s my first time reading a mystery book and maybe I choosed the wrong  book to introduce me to this gendra. the book was just so long for me I felt like wasting like my time while reading it. I don’t know if I’ll ever return to finish it maybe if someone convince me to.

So those where my october reads, it was overall a good month when it cames to the books I read during it. 

My progress in spanish + my current favorite spanish songs #3

A new post about my progress in learning spanish, not my favourite subject to write about mainly because I'm learning is so slowly you can't feel the progress, I kind of feel ashamed of myself to say I'm learning spanish especially that I hear some people learned it in three months and here I am in my second year of it, when you learn alone by yourself at, sometimes you lose the motivation to continue and just get so lazy that's why I write those posts to remind myself that I started a learning journey, and there is no way I'm going to give up in the middle of it.

I don't know why I wrote this long introduction?!! whatever; those two months were really tiring for me since I was working, I didn't have much effort for grammar that's why I was concentrating on vocabulary, I was working as a waitress in pretty touristic area, translating the menu to customers was part of my job, I translated the menu to spanish, it wasn't that hard and it helped me a lot, spanish tourists became my specialty even though there wasn't much of them this year. anyway this is the list of the vocabulary I learned maybe it'll help someone out there :

Una camarera: a waitress

Hacer un pedido: to make an order

Una pizza individual, mediana o grande: an undividuel, medium or large pizza

Una pizza grueso o fina: a waitress: a thick or thin pizza

Las sabores de la pizza: flavors of the pizza

margarita, con carne(with meat), vejetariana, 4 quesos (4 cheeses), con marisco (with seafood)

Bebidas: drinks

Aguas mineral: bottled waters

Gaseosas: soda

Ensaladas: salads

Entradas: entries

Pan de ajo con queso: garlic bread with cheese

Alas de pollo: chicken wings

Pastas: pasta

Lasagna con salsa bolognesa: lasagna with meat sauce

Lasagna con marisco: seafood lasagna


other than this vocabulary I learned I have been watching this spanish youtuber, the name of her channel is yuya, she speaks so fast that sometimes the only thing I understand is her introduction "hola guapuras yo soy yuya" and after that I watch the pictures but it's ok native speakers speak fast I like her videos always cute, she's cute:

Now to my favourite spanish songs this month, this summer there was a lot of successful spanish songs playing on the radio and I was glad for that the best for me were:

el perdón - nicky jam & enrique iglesias:

El perdón Te estaba buscando Por las calles gritando Esto me está matando Te estaba buscando Por las calles gritando Como un loco tomando Es que yo sin ti Y tú sin mi Dime quién puede ser feliz Esto no me gusta Esto no me gusta

Forgiveness I was looking for you Crying out in the streets This is killing me I was looking for you Crying out in the streets Like a crazy drunk It's just that me without you And you without me Tell me, who can be happy? I don't like this I don't like this

El Mismo Sol - Alvaro Soler

El mismo sol Yo quiero que este sea El mundo que conteste Del hasta oeste Y bajo el mismo sol Ahora nos vamos Si juntos celebramos Aquí todos estamos Bajo el mismo sol Y bajo el mismo sol

the same sun I want this to be The world to answer From east to west And under the same sun Now we go Yes we celebrate together There we celebrate Under the same sun And under the same sun

Enrique Iglesias - Noche Y De Dia ft. Yandel, Juan Magan:

Noche y de día Hay calor in la ciudad Hay calor in la bahía Venga fuimos de fiesta De noche y de día Fusión internacional Baila que trae alegría Venga que siga la fiesta De noche y de día

At night and at day There is heat in the city There is heat in the bay Como on in we went to the party On night and on day International fusion Dance that brings you joy Come on the party goes On night and on day

the next songs aren't that new, actually they are spanish version of some famous american songs, I just discovered them and they are good especially that you don't need to translate them you already get the meaning

Como Amar-enrique iglesias:

Como amar Te fuiste pero nunca me dijiste adiós Me dejaste en mil pedazos Por no saber amar Como amar La vida va pasado Tu carita no ha cambiado Esos ojitos negros que Siguen suplicando como amar Como amar

How to love You left but I never said goodbye You left me to pieces For not knowing how to love How to love Life goes by Your faces not changed Those black eyes Are begging how to love How to love

Ven a Bailar - Jennifer lopez:

Noche y de día Hay calor in la ciudad Hay calor in la bahía Venga fuimos de fiesta De noche y de día Fusión internacional Baila que trae alegría Venga que siga la fiesta De noche y de día

At night and at day There is heat in the city There is heat in the bay Como on in we went to the party On night and on day International fusion Dance that brings you joy Come on the party goes On night and on day

That's it in of this post, next post about spanish would be better I promise, I'll try harder wish me good luck.

Recent reads

It has been a while since I last wrote on my blog like two months, and that’s mainly because of my laziness, plus I felt like my head was empty two stressed to work or think let along write, all I was doing was read, at least I have been doing that.

And that’s what I'm going to talk about today. I have been reading books from different genres a classic, a young adult and some children books.

Let’s start with the classic one, it's a really famous French classic, Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert, the book is about this women who lives her life thinking that she doesn’t have what it takes to be happy, so she tries to chase those things she’s too blind to know or see that she already have everything. Emma the name of this woman in her chase would do things that we consider or her society considers immoral and even stupid, she knows that but she doesn’t care as long as she’ll get her happy ending the ending that she’ll never get. While reading other people’s reviews about the book I remarked that some people hated Emma because of her disrespect to her husband and child others pitied her for her ignorance, for me I couldn’t stop thinking how much Emma was reliable character how human nature is alike I could see myself doing what Emma was doing, when we are bored, desperate and unhappy we do stupid things that we know are stupid but we think they are better than staying still, doing nothing and just feeling like dying a little bit everyday.

The second book I read was a young adult called the DUFF written by Kody Keplinger, I picked this book because of a positive review of a moroccan youtuber, the story is ok but just not that good for me, too much talking about looks and sex that's what I remember from it, I don't know why but young adult books aren't for me, I'm afraid I'm being unfair to this genre but that's just what I feel, final verdict the DUFF was a waste of time.

All the other books I read are children books, I have been planning to read those forever, and finally I did, like I expected they weren't that easy to read, the vocabulary was all new to me animal names flower names, even with this difficulty I really enjoyed those books, I read Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson a dreamy book about jess and leslie and their magical world I liked this book so much especially that even though it's a children book the author talked about deep issues such as death, religion, love, children abuse this book is just amazing, I also read secret garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett the book tells the story of Mary a spoiled sick child, who will move to her uncle estate where her life will change not only hers but the life of many people around her, this book is just beautiful, I did retell this story to my little cousin and he was amazed with it, he told me that he wish he could also have a secret garden, I replied me too after this book who doesn't dream of one, the last book is Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, and to be honest I didn't understand much of it or the book had not much in it, I don't know all I could remember from it was that Alice kept changing sizes kept asking herself who she was, maybe I'm going to reread this book someday I should this book is famous it should be for a reason am I wrong?

That's it for this post, I'm going to keep reading and try to write more I know my writing style sucks, I should try more. to the few people who read the rumbling I write thank you.

My progress in spanish + my current favorite spanish songs #2

"Hola, me llamó merieme, tengo veintiún anos, vivo en agadir, es un cuidad en el sur de marruecos, agadir es muy agredable sobre todo en verano, trabajo como camarera, es mi trabajo este verano.  

Aprendo espanol por dos anos, pero mi nivel es no bueno porque me estudiando solo en mi casa utilizando internet y a veces me aburro.

Pero este verano intento trabajar mas y estudiar mas, y mi gol es leer un libro entero en espanol espero que si."

So this is all I could say in spanish when I recorded myself, and I know it's not a good thing since it doesn't reflect my work, and it's a little frustrating, but I'm not giving up I'll learn this language one day.

One of the tips I found on the internet about learning any language is to diversify my learning resources, so I have been searching for and trying different resources; I have found this app called Duolingo, it's a great app to learn vocabulary and I love using it, and I started listening to a new podcast Showtime spanish and I like it so far, I also began to watch this telenovela La que no podia amar the site where I'm watching it provides english and spanish subtitles witch is so helpful. I'm the type to get easily bored so using different resources helps me a lot.

Now to music;

this month I have been listening a lot to some old but yet so good songs by enrique iglesias.

Ayer:

Hey dime a donde vas                                             Hey tell me where you're going

y si sabes tu distino                                                  and if you know your destity

Ayer cabais en mi corazon                                      yesturday you fit in my heart

y te escondiste en un rincon                                   and you hid in a corner

del otro lado                                                               of the other side

yo se que la vida nos dejo                                        I know that life let us 

saber que nuestro amor                                           know that our love

no esta acabado                                                         is not over

                                          

Enrique Iglesias feat. Juan Luis Guerra-Cuando Me Enamoro:

Cuando me enamoro                                               When I fall in love

a veces desespero                                                     Sometimes I get desperate

Cuando me enamoro                                               When I fall in love

Cuando menos melo espero                                   When I least expect it

me enamoro                                                               I fall in love

Se detiene el tiempo                                                 Time stops

me viene el alma al cuerpo                                     soul comes to my body

sonrio, cuando me enamoro                                  I smile, when I fall in love

Since I'm a big fan of Ricky Martin, I'm always listening to one of his songs, this month I have been listening to:
Tu Recuerdo by Ricky Martin & Mari Chambao:

Tu recuerdo sigue aqui                                          Your memory stays here
Como un aguacero                                                  Like a cloudburst
Rompe fuerte sobre mi                                          It hits me hard
Pero a fuego lento                                                   But slowly
Quema y moja por igual                                        It burns and soaks me all the same
Y ya no se lo que pensar                                        And I don't know what to think
Si tu recuerdo me hace bien                                 If your memory is good  
o me hace mal                                                         or bad for me

Ricky Martin - La Mordidita:

I enjoy listing to this song so much, so richy martin.

I saved the best for the last,

Solita by Prince Royce:

Tomando el autobús                                               While I was taking the bus

En un Diciembre a mi vida llegas tú                    In a December you came into my life

La niña que tantas veces yo había                        The girl of whom I’ve dreamed so many

soñado                                                                          times

Y como un loco, cada noche deseado                   And like a crazy, I desired her every night  

  

I'd like to mention that for the lyrics and the translation, I use this website that I like so much http://lyricstranslate.com/

My trip back to Casablanca

                          

It was 22:30 Sunday night when dad drove me to the bus station, he didn't stop warning me how dangers casa was early in the morning, how I should take the taxi once there waiting for the bus alone isn't safe, he kept insisting on this he knows I hate taxis, I kept answering yes dad ok dad, it was not my first time traveling to casa, but he (dad) and mom still act like I was a child.

After buying the ticket which is not that easy in moroccan bus stations, and made sure I was comfortable in my seat, dad went back home finally. I'm 21 he shouldn't be so worried about me but he just does I should prove him I can handle alone those situations, I think.

It was a year since I last visited casablanca, I missed my friends so much, but it wasn't the raison I was going to it, I needed some paper from my old university. the trip lasted 6 hours, I couldn't sleep I kept listening to an audio-book I downloaded and the time flew by.

It was 6 am when I arrived to casa, I descended at the station that dad calls a jungle and it is with all those homeless people. I didn't care much about the station what made me anxious was the empty streets outside, so I headed in quick steps to the bus station, sorry dad but I hate taxis, I hate that stupid conversation with the driver, the station wasn't empty which made me relaxed, soon the bus came in half an hour I was at my friend's place, her mom was so nice, made the bad for me to rest and give me pg's to feel comfortable I slept for an hour before going to the uni.

My experience this time at that school wasn't as bad as last time, the administration still sucks, but they gave me my paper without  begging, yelling or cursing, they just made me wait for 3 hour.

On the road, back to my friend's house I felt at ease, all my anxiety sources were gone, I sat looking outside the bus window, nothing really changed beside the new garbage boxes, the air wasn't as stinky as the last time I was there, I just realized how much I missed my every day trip to school and casa in general, the city where I was born and grow up, it's the most dirty and definitely not so safe city but I missed it,its nice helpful people not all of them but living in agadir made me appreciate that quality in casawi people, how easy it was to start a conversation with a total stranger in the bus. 

I eat lunch, rested for a few hours, I couldn't help not visiting my uncle and its little family I missed them so much, he lives now at my old house, once there I got a little bit nostalgic but I didn't burst into real tears until I sow a neighborhood friend it was weird but it felt good, I said goodbye to my house, and at 7 pm I was on the road again back to agadir.

All I was doing on the trip was thinking, thinking how much I grow up, how it was hard for me to get used to living in a new city, It costed me a year without studying and who knows about next year, but in the end, now that I said my farewells to my old city, I felt fresh, I'm starting a new page in my life with no regrets or prejudice. this is life, we are in a trip  we land at different places, meet new people say goodbye to others, have bad memories good ones, the most important thing is to always move forward and don't get stuck in the past

I didn't know my trip would turn me this wise, I arrived at 4 am, dad was waiting for me!!.

Nino

It was one of those days when I was still searching for something to do with my life, I copied my resumé, worn my favorite sweater and headed to the bus station.

I had no precise idea in mind where I was going, I just got so bored and told myself why not go downtown put my resumé at some shops, I knew it wasn't the time yet to search for this kind of job, there was not that much tourists, so shops don't hire extra workers at this time of the year, but maybe I'll get lucky, maybe some coffee shop needs a waitress or I don't know any other thing.

That day was sunny, it felt like a day of summer, but in fact it was winter, this city doesn't care about seasons, I spent a half a year in AGADIR, and one thing I learned about it, you can never predict the weather, but it was a good sign, at least the weather was on my side.

Once there and after putting down my resumé at some shops, I sensed that it wasn't at all the right time to search for this kind of job, most restaurants, coffee shops, stores where empty, so I decided to return to my house.

On my road back to the bus station, this man who I know was a tourist approached me, I know he would be asking about some place that for sure I don't know about. and I was right, he asked me if I knew a good restaurant that cooks moroccan dishes, I replied that I don't know, I don't eat out a lot, which was true. he pretended to be shocked and said: really you don't know, at your age you would normally go out a lot with your friends.

I wasn't in a good mood to talk, but that man looked like he was lonely and just wanted to have a conversation with someone, he looked over forty so I said why not talk with him, maybe this would cheer me up, I explained to him that even if I go out with my friends we wouldn't be eating moroccan cuisine, we eat it all the time at our houses.

he smiled and introduced himself to me, his name was Nino which I found really funny, he is a retired teacher, I also introduced myself and asked him about his nationality, because I couldn't figure that out he spoke in perfect french, yet he had an accent, he told me he was Italian. then he shocked me with that question:

_Why are you looking sad?

I wasn't expecting this question, I was feeling depressed and lost, but I was trying my best to look confident, I guess I'm not a that good at acting, I couldn't shut my mouth, I should have but I didn't, I told him every thing about me looking for a job, and me not finishing school, he listened to me without interrupting, he tried to understand me then when I finished talking said:

_You know, I was a teacher and I have heard this story so many times, you are still young you can work but consider that maybe one day you're going to regret not finishing school.

I explained to him that I couldn't stand how the college I was studying at worked, it's total chaos.

_Is this college that you hate the only option you have to finish studying? do you have  any other option?

_Yes I have, but next year.

_Then go for them, try them, take this advice from an old man, a job as waitress isn't a job you wanna be doing for the rest of your life, trust me.

_Ok, I'm going to keep this in mind.

_Good, don't think just about today keep in mind tomorrow, and don't be sad about your situation, every person in their life goes through this phase; when they don't know what to do, when they're lost but not all have the chance you have to finish or even change what they're studying, study your possibilities and choose right, let's have an ice cream together, it'll cheer you up.

_No, it's ok, I'm already better now that I talked with you.

_Don't say no, I'm inviting you.

_No, really I can't, I'm so tired I just need to go to my house,(deep inside me I did really needed that ice cream, but I couldn't accept his invitation it just didn't seem right, he was a total stranger.)

_Ok just give me your number so we can stay in contact, and have a cup of coffee some other day.

_I'm so sorry I can't (there was no harm from me giving him my number, but again it didn't seem right, I would look like those girls who go around looking for old tourist, to buy them thing so no I refused to give him my number.)

_It's ok, I'm not going to force you to give me you number, I wish you good luck, and to do the right choices in your life.

I wished him good luck too, and thanked him for his advice, then we parted. I headed off to the bus station and him I don't know to where, I didn't look back.

That was how I met Nino, the italian tourist who I don't think I'm going to see again, but in a way or another helped me a lot, just by listening to me, I just needed that at the time. Now that I think about it I wish we talked for longer, his words were wise, he talked like a dad who's concerned about his daughter, but I took the right decision to not stay in contact with him, I think!!!

It's all about the background

Finally I found something to do with my life, at least for the next four months, an internship at an accounting firm.

Finding an internship wasn't easy at all. at first I thought all I need is good resumé but no, it's not enough in morocco, you need more, you need to know someone who happens to know someone who knows the manager of the firm you attend to work at, from my brief experience that's the best way, the way that guarantees finding an internship or a job.

I tried other ways for a month, handed down my resumé in a lot of firms, I searched on internet on those useless websites (really useless I spend a lot of my time responding to offers but no one called it's like they fool people), but nothing worked is it bad luck or just those ways don't work anymore, I don't know.

I would have been really more proud if I had found this internship by myself, but it's ok I tried and it's not like I don't deserve this chance, it's weird how just yesterday I read in a book "the girl who played with fire" a quote that I thought was sad "it's all about the background" but it's true, life is much easier if you have a good background, a family with acquaintances that can help, some people have more chances just because they have the right background the sad unfair fact of the day. 

My spanish learning journey

Today I wanted to write about my spanish learning journey, how I started and where I am now.

I started learning spanish in my first year of university, I didn't have a specific reason for this choice, it was just that I  wanted to do something useful in my free time, and also I thought it would be a good addition in my CV.

Since there was no spanish course in my majoring, I started learning it by myself at home, first I started searching for some free resources online, and that's where I discovered this really interesting youtube channel called SpanishDict, it's a great start for someone who knows absolutely nothing about the spanish language, the videos in this youtube channel are in english, they present spanish in a very easy way, I learned a lot of vocabulary from them.

It was a really useful learning resource for me, until that stage where the lessons become more about the grammar, I couldn't understand much of those lessons since the spanish and the english grammar are so different, so I stopped watching the spanishdict videos but I liked their page on facebook, every day they post a new vocabulary which is a good thing.

I didn't find much about spanish grammar on the internet, so I bought a book called 40 Leçons pour parler espagnol, this book contains 40 spanish grammar lesson explained in french, this book helped me a lot, mainly because there is a lot of similarities between the french and the spanish grammar.

I learned so much from this book from grammar to pronunciation; but it was so hard to learn just grammar; grammar is important but learning it is so boring, plus I kept forgetting the rules. so I gave up learning from this book around the lesson number 25, and I had to switch up to another  thing.

I returned to internet, and that's where I found about the podcast Notes In Spanish, and I downloaded their mp3 episodes from iTunes, they are free which is greet. they are presented by Marina and Ben, where they talk to each other about different subjects in spanish and english, I still listen to them, I think they are really interesting.

Now after two years of learning, I try to listen to a podcast every day, I listen to music in spanish like always, and every now and then I read a children's book in spanish, but I'm so far from being fluent, there is, on internet, some people who say they become fluent in spanish in three months, I don't know how those people did that, all I know is that it's not my case, learning this language is so hard, it needs patience, some days I lose all motivation to continue, especially that I'm doing it alone with no teacher, I took learning this language as a challenge, I wish this year I stay motivated enough to achieve it.

The day I took the decision of dropping out of university

Tuesday 03-02-2015

At 08:00

the first exam of the first semester, I was well prepared for it but not so confident as always, I spent all the waiting before the exam alone, I looked at people's eyes trying to recognize someone but I didn't, I couldn't find a single person I knew. After a quarter of an hour the teachers handed us the exam papers, the exam wasn't hard but it was all about the theoretical part of the course, which I wasn't expecting. I did my best, just thinking about restudying for this course made me sick.

At 10:00

Half an hour before the second exam, again I didn't find a person to talk with, I didn't know much people in this university it's my first year in here, but it was so weird that I couldn't see the few people I knew, to calm down I sung in my head all the songs I knew from fayrouz to saad lamjarred.

At 10:30 

Before distributing the exam papers, the teachers asked us to clean our tables from any documents, even the authorized one "le plan comptable", at first I thought it was a misunderstanding, but no it turned out we are not allowed to use it, I felt my body trembling this wasn't fair, but what shocked me the most was the attitude of the students, the class had more than 100 student, no one said a word they just accepted this unfairness, I found myself thinking about what would happen if the same thing took place at my old university, with no doubt no one would have passed that exam, but this is not my old university, this made me realize why I couldn't make friends, the same attitude happens every other place I go to, people not respecting each other, not caring, thinking just about themselves.

The exam was about a practical course, but half of the questions were about the rules that normally we find in "le plan comptable",
I didn't do much in this exam either, simply because instead of thinking about the answers of the exam, I was thinking about going out of that class.

 At 12:00

In the bus on my way to home, again I was alone, but this time I needed to be alone, I had a decision to take, either I give up and take a half a year vacation, or take a deep breath, accept those conditions, just get used to them, and finish what I started. 

 At 13:30

At home, my family was around the table eating lunch, I washed my hands and joined them, dad asked me how the exams passed I said fine.

 At 15:00

My sister asked me about the exam I have tomorrow, I told her I have none, she knew I had exams in three successive days, she knew that something was wrong with me, that moment I knew I’ll have one of the longest days in my Life, where I'll have to convince my two sisters, my mother then my father why I don’t want to continue studying.

It was a long day but my family kind of respected my decision, it was clear I had suffered much already, it wasn't a decision I took because I had a crappy day, I had worst days before, and I was so tired of fighting, but they kept insisting on me to just pass the rest of the exams even if I’ll not attend school the next semester, but I had already took the decision.

I didn't want to forget this day that's why I wrote about it with so much details, education was always an important part of my life and I wasn't picturing my last day of it would be like this. 
I have no plan for now, and I don’t know what the future hides for me, I don’t know if I’ll regret this decision in year or two, all I know is that now I feel like I took the right decision.